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Monday, April 24, 2006

Assassin's Game

The fun thing about being an assassin is the seduction, those moments of intimacy that occur right before the end. Sometimes it lasts seconds or minutes as the rhythm of the your heartbeat matches the target's motion. Suddenly, with a percussion that sounds like a mass of compressed air, the sniper rifle round hurtles at subsonic speeds towards the target and lands with a sting so fast the victim doesn't even have time to contemplate his shift from life to death. One heartbeat he's on the ninth green going for a birdie and the next he's in front of the pearly gates trying to tell St-Peter exactly why he should let his sorry corrupted ass into heaven. Most people I nix aren't the kind that go to heaven anyway. I'm not going there either.

The down side of my job is that my relationships never go anywhere. There is a stupid rule that you can't date the people you work with. A few "date" each in the broom closet sometimes, but it the exception and not the rule. It's a shame too, because most agents, male or female, are gorgeous by any standard. I'm not just saying that. Uncle Sam sees to it that we get all the good looks Mother Nature skimped on. And you were wondering where all your tax money goes. Sure, you could say "What does it matter if you look like a model underneath those night vision goggles," but actually the looks are for those more interesting aspects of the job. Let me give you an example and you'll get it, I'm sure.

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